The Unbreakable Pot
by LongliveRanma
Summary: From a reddit writing prompt: After years of trying and failing, the head craftsmen of Hyrule finally created the perfect item : The Unbreakable Pot. A short little story that was suggested to posted on here and here it is.


Hellos! This was written after seeing a writing prompt on reddit. After letting some other people read it, they suggested it be posted on here for fun. So here it is. Enjoy!

* * *

"Do it." A deep stony voice commanded.

There was a deep intake of breath as a large man lifted a large stone mallet above his head. With the mallet still hovering, the large man found himself hesitating. This one took the longest. Several days had passed creating this single one. Months passed in finding this design. Years had passed experimenting with materials and shapes. Arguments frequented, relationships broke, and tension rose to unbelievable heights due to this one project. Could this be the one?

"I said…" The deep voice growled impatiently. " _Do it!_ "

Not wanting to anger his employer, the large man exhaled sharply as he swung the mallet down with all his might. As the mallet descended, he closed his eyes. He knew he wasn't going to miss; after all, he had done this countless times. A familiar scene was played in the depths of the man's mind: Sound of shattering, an explosion of shrapnel, and plenty of cursing.

"Thunk!" The mallet had reached its destination. The large man furrowed his brow in confusion. What kind of sound was that? It certainly was not one he was familiar with. It was a hollow yet solid sound. Had he missed? Impossible.

He heard a gasp from his employer, perking his curiosity even more. He finally opened his eyes and to his utter disbelief, it stood proudly in all its glory. He removed his mallet as his employer approached.

The thinner man bent down from his waist, putting his face extremely close to it. His hands caressed and knocked on it, seeking for abnormalities. Silent seconds passed as the man kept scouring it from every side and side.

"We… we did it." The thinner man said quietly. The larger man's eyes widened as he heard the man's sentence. The sentence was repeated, but this time with volume and fervor with him throwing his hands up in celebration. "We did it!"

"Haha!" The larger man laughed infectiously as the years of stress bubbled away and soon the thinner joined in the laughter.

"This can't be a dream, right?" The thinner man muttered after finishing his laugh. He glanced up, observing the shining midday sun high above Hyrule. He took in the bright blue skies with scattered cumulus clouds. It felt too cheery to him. Looking at his larger companion, he requested. "I must make sure… Hit me."

Without a word his companion mechanically lifted the mallet once more with all smiles left from the laughter.

"Not with the hammer, you oaf!" The man shouted, quickly cowering behind his stretched arms and open hands. He changed the request. "Pinch me."

His companion obliged and the thinner man grimaced and then immediately smiled widely, having confirmed he surely was in reality. With a surge of energy, he dove into his pockets and shoved rupees into his companion's hand then quickly hefted his holy creation between his arms and hurried his way home.

His indestructible pot was completed.

Using his shoulder to nudge open the door, he announced himself into the isolated wooden house and attempted to capture the sole occupant of the house. "I did it!"

"Sure you did." Answered a sarcastic feminine voice. He frowned as he realized she didn't even look up at him from she where she was reading from the oak table. Typical.

"Honey, believe me. We finally did it! This pot is unbreakable! We know the right materials, the right proportions and the right shape." He boasted, smiling once more. "We'll be rich!"

Still, she didn't even look up. "That's what you said last time with the other one _s_." She stretched out the 's' sound.

A scowl replaced his smile and he stormed out of the house, the pot still in his arms. "I'll show her..."

He spent the rest of the day setting up a little surprise for the bane of all potters. With the help of his large companion from before, he took as many of his inferior pots and set them scattered within a grass open area where He-who-has-a-pot-fetish frequented. He then made sure to hide his indestructible pot among the dozens of inferior pots. The pot destroyer will finally meet his maker.

Grinning like a madman, he arranged the last of his pots so that it would natural in the way a clearing with random pots would look natural. Satisfied with his work, he pulled his large companion off to the side and hid behind a couple boulders. Positioning himself as comfortably as he could he looked up across the boulders to see the red hues of the sky. His smile grew even wider as anticipation built up in his body.

"There he is!" He whispered giddily. He turned to his larger companion and pushed him down so he couldn't be seen behind the boulders. "Shh! Don't move, don't talk!"

Flattening his body against the boulder with his hands gripping the contours, he carefully poked his head out to watch the awaited scene. The green demon strolled merrily down the dirt path, whistling and swinging his arms in rhythm of his steps. His pot-breaker was strapped to his back, clanging against the flat non-pot-breaker. Oh, how he hated that pot-breaker. The clanging and whistling stopped as the ceramic smasher took note of the sight ahead of him.

His mouth dropped opened, his eyes widened, and his body shook with glee. The maniac pulled out his pot-breaker and like a bull to a red rag in a china shop, charged.

"Hyeeh kyaah!" Came the obscenity as the first pot shattered.

"Hut hut!" He smashed three more pots with a spinning attack.

"Hjet! Tyaa!" Five more pots disintegrated as he charged through him with his pot-breaker at his waist.

"Hyaaaaaaaaaah!" He had a running start for this next pot, crunching on the scattered shards of the slain. A few pot-widths away from it, he launched into the air with his pot-breaker raised above his head. His face twisted into a look of pure glee even more warped than it had been before.

The thin pot maker grinned hysterically as the sword came down. He urged his body closer against the rock, focusing his eyes to the elated face of his nightmares. The sword hit the pot and he euphorically drank in the expression of utter shock when the pot did not break. The potter's nightmare let go of his pot-breaker in surprise, having not expected the resistance and it bounced a distance off.

Bug eyed, the enemy of pots quickly retrieved his pot-breaker from the ground and returned to face the pot. Not a single mark to show.

"Hut hyaah!" He tried again, swinging his pot-breaker to hit the side of the pot. His arms immediately shook in recoil at the resistance. He tilted his head curiously to the side. "Hyeeh?"

The pot maker celebrated, jumping up and down childishly, certain that the pot slayer's attention would be riveted to his newest enemy. The Hero of Pot Crime suddenly attacked in a frenzy, swinging wildly to no effect. Clangs and grunts were the only sounds to be heard. With each swing, the pot maker's pride shot up until he was bursting. Having his fill, he stood up and started to smugly walk towards the distressed elf, only to stop when a bomb was pulled out. He quietly walked behind the boulder again.

Eyes furious and murderous, a bomb was lit and set next to the pot. The manic elf took a couple steps back with his non-breaker and stood sturdily as the bomb blew up.

Needless to say, the pot was not destroyed. A small crater now surrounded the pot, scarring the once peaceful area. The next bomb was put inside the pot, then under, then there were two bombs, and then three. Nothing had an effect, on the pot. The surrounding area was not as lucky with dirt, gunpowder and ceramic dispersed far and wide. All the while the pot maker had his ears covered and his body in a fetal position against the boulder.

Finally, there was lull in action and the pot maker hesitantly uncovered his ears.

"Da, da DA, DAAAAA!"

A frown crossed his face due to the strange tune. Reluctantly standing up, he gasped at the utter destruction of area. The next thing he noticed was the lack of the elf boy and his pot.

"What the Ganon?!" He shouted.

* * *

"Ahahah. We meet again, Hero of Time!" A dark voice boomed. "This time you wi- is… is that a pot? What are you doing with a pot? And where'd the master shield go?"

Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are appreciated. Criticisms or compliments, it matters not.


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